Mobile.

My phone. It’s not much use to anyone, like me.

There was a time not too long ago when you could look at the received or missed call list -- I never erase any of them -- and the oldest call would be over nine months old. I tried once to wrap my mind around that. It really means that no one really ever calls me much.

My made calls list was pretty long. I don’t make a lot of calls, but I tend to make a hell of a lot more calls than I receive. Not really surprising.

***

I wonder what goes on in that bar across the street. All I see go in are old folk. But how much longer before they will be me instead of me watching? I have no idea. About either.

***

Summer has passed by. It always seems to take one big moment to push summer out. An event that ushers in fall.

I always kind of look at fall as death. It’s when the leaves die. That’s the only reason I feel that way.

***

How does a person cope with going to work, and not doing anything while they are there? I’ve never understood it.

My grandfather instilled that ethic in me. He didn’t miss a day of work in 40 years. They gave him a piece of paper and took his photo for the newspaper.

I was in the newspaper when I was five years old. A little kid eating ice cream.

***

The hotel next door is apparently open tonight. The seafood festival is in town. Folks are drinking. Hanging out with friends. Driving drunkenly about.

A cop drove by earlier. He looked a me standing in front of my house. I looked at him. A couple of drunks were leaving the bar, getting in their cars at the same time.

The cop kept looking at me.

***

It’s raining again. Five days in a row it rained a lot. This is the sixth day, I figure. Tomorrow it’s supposed to rain some more. If it goes on for 34 more days, does that mean someone should have been building a boat?

***

The rain plops down on the ground. A ground so saturated, I’m really surprised it’s not a river here too. The land is mostly sand, however, so it just soaks on through.

I use the words really and I guess, too much.

The dripping of the rain off of my roof is soothing. Except when it hit’s the aluminum can that someone left in my side yard. It’s a Milwaukee’s Best Ice can. I don’t want to pick it up. So I don’t. It just sits there.

One day, it will either be picked up, or it will blow away. That’s a given. Where it ends up from there is a mystery?

It may go to a landfill, rotting with egg shells and screen doors. It may go to a recycling place, where it’s eventually melted down and turned into something else. Or it may just sit in the side yard for decades, buried under weeds and garbage.

Maybe the asshole yelling “Hey!” outside will fall on it, and in doing so, cut his jugular?

This do happen like that every day.

***

I can’t think of any really good friend of mine, past or present, that isn’t married or in a long-term, committed relationship.

Except for two people. They’re both journalists, too.

No wonder I feel empty.

I hope they don’t feel the same way.

***

Am I still a fan of anything anymore?

I try to watch sports, but rarely get into them. I used to live and die when watching a game.

Now, about the only time I feel that excitement is standing in the audience at a Lucero show. That’s the one time I feel completely alive. Completely unselfaware.

That’s funny.

***

I haven’t bought a new suit since 1998.

Heck, I’ve never bought one. My mom bought it for me. For when I started interviewing for jobs.

I still wear that same blue suit.

It’s out of style.

It looks kind of raggedy

I’ve never bought a TV either. All of them have been hand-me-downs.

Same with microwaves, clock radios and MP3 players.

I finally bought my first car at the age of 39.

It didn’t make me feel “all grown up.”

It felt more like an anchor around my waist. Another reason to not be mobile.

How silly is that? Having a car, but not feeling mobile.

I still haven’t gone on a proper roadie in it. Been to DC. That really didn’t count.

I’ve got to take it to Arkansas. Or Memphis. Or New Orleans. Then it will be officially “my” car.

At least the Gator seems to like her.

She does need a name………