Sid's Taco Stand

One day, you’ll look back at all this and laugh.

No one ever means that when they say it. You can either laugh at it in the moment, or it hurts like a fucking lockblade knife plunged into your stomach. You may be able to look back at it and laugh at yourself, but deep down inside, you know it still hurts.

July is a strange month.

I love the weather. I like it hot and humid and nasty. It’s why I’m sitting in my house at the beach and it’s 90 degrees inside and I’m not stressed out about it. A couple of fans blowing and a pint glass full of water to keep me cool. It works.

That would kill most people I know now. Not most people, because most people still don’t have decent air conditioning. It’s why I laugh at the folks that are so damn fed up with the heat. Go outside and live for a few days. Then, you won’t feel so bad.

July was her birthday. For a good while it was festive. Then it died. Well, she killed it.

Then July became the breakup point. Twice. From the next one.

Now, funnily enough, she popped back into my life today. “… wants to be friends.” Fuck you Facebook.

And of course, between 13 and 15 days from now I was supposed to be a dad. Instead, I’m not. Another process I’ve gotten used to over the years.

My God I’m a whiny little shit.

…

My wrists burn with almost every activity now. CT is no fun-o.

….

I try to remember the last time I saw her face. It had to be in Smithfield. But, I’m not really sure. It didn’t have a finality to it, from my perspective. So, I didn’t watch it.

I don’t want to write about her. She caused me so much pain, and cost me so much more in my own stupidity. Let’s not go back into that box.

…

“Eating tacos would be nice,” she said with a smile.

Finally, I thought to myself, a girl that will actually tell me what she wants to eat. No more “Whatevers” or “What do you wants?” or even “I don’t know, you picks..”

Ugh.

I hugged her on the spot. We’d only been on two dates, and not even touched each other. She tensed up a bit, until I said “Thank you for picking! It means a lot.”

She smiled.

“You’ve had indecisive women in your life, haven’t you?”

“Well, not really. Just about food.”

“Ahh…” She seemed to ponder that one. I like a good pondering look. I pulled out my phone and took a picture.

“Why?” she said in a faux-mad voice. “I should go Mad Max on you!”

“Mad Max the first 30 minutes of the movie, or the last 10?”

She punched me on the arm. I dug this chick. I hoped I wouldn’t fuck it up.

We drove downtown. 6.3 miles exactly. I knew this because I made the trip to Sid’s Taco Stand at least four times a week. I figure when I have a heart attack, I can send the bills to Sid. I told him that one time.

“Fuck you say?” Was his only response. I liked Sid. But I liked his tacos better. It had something to do with the sauce. He said it just came out of a bottle, but I didn’t believe him. I got a job at Sid’s just to see where the sauce came from. It didn’t come from a bottle. It came from a bucket. Sid laughed when he handed me my first – and last – paycheck.

“You got your answer?” he queried.

“Yep,” I said. “I now know it does not come from a bottle, but instead from a plastic bucket. But what is in the bucket, may I ask?”

“Now that you are no longer employed at Sid’s Taco Stand, I cannot share any company secrets with you,” he said. “Now, what do you want?”

“Four tacos and two mandarin Jarritos. Extra sauce.”

“That’ll be,” he started.

“Four dollars and 11 cents,” I finished.

“You got it kid,” Sid said.

When we pulled into Sid’s, the neon signs were all off. I had never seen Sid’s closed. Even on Christmas. He stayed open.

“If you close, you can’t sell Tacos,” Sid told me during my second day of work when I asked why he was never closed. It made perfect sense. Just like everything else Sid said.

He had told me to ask Marie out on a date. That was three weeks before I started working for him. I asked her out on my fourth day of work.

“About fucking time,” he said.

“I’m giving you my one day’s notice,” I told Sid.

“What?” he replied, holding his knife menancingly.

“She said she’d go out with me, but she added that she wouldn’t date someone who worked in a taco stand.”

“Was she serious?” Sid asked, crestfallen.

“I don’t think so, but, I don’t want to temp the fates.”

“Good idea,” he said. “It will certainly be the same without you here.”

“Yeah,yeah, yeah. Except now I won’t get the employee discount. I had gotten used to three dollars and 67 cents.”

“I had not,” Sid said laughing.

We walked up to the door. The closed sign, which I had never seen turned from open was there. Scribbled on it was “Until further notice.”

I looked at Marie. She looked back. She shrugged.

“He’s got to be in some kind of trouble,” I said as I plopped back into my car. The stereo cranked out Taco Wagon by the Young Fresh Fellows. I got sad. I turned off the song.

“Let’s go find out,” Marie said.

“Huh?” I replied.

“Let’s go to Sid’s house.”

“I don’t know where he lives.”

“I do,” Marie said. “I’m his daughter.”

Right then I noticed just how pale she was. She knew what I was thinking.

“OK, hun,” I said, cranking the ignition.

“Turn left on Pedro. Then go a few blocks to St. Martin Avenue. It’s the red brick house. You can’t miss it.”

I felt bad when the only thought that popped into my head when we got to Sid’s house was “Damn, I’m never going to have one of those tasty tacos again.”